Creating the life you want is no walk in the park. It involves recognizing patterns, healing from the past and creating yourself from the inside out. It involves getting real with who you are: the good, the bad and the ugly.
To embrace your authentic power and life that is waiting for you, you have to be willing to do the real work. Listening to the deepest corners of your soul that are whispering to you constantly. You have to be willing to get silent enough to hear it and check in regularly. The difficulty in all of this is that honesty with oneself is hard. It is uncomfortable. Being honest with ourselves means we have to change our "story" that we have told ourselves for so many years for survival. It means we have to challenge our previous truths.
We all have a story of ourselves based on very real experiences starting in childhood. Stories of trauma and neglect. This is only one aspect of our true selves. However, it drops into our subconscious and anything that goes against it shakes our core sense of self. We then live our lives in defense of that story or truth that is now engrained into our subconscious.
These stories and truths can look very different for each individual. The truth that since you were abandoned by one of your parents as a child, you aren't worthy of being loved. The truth that you were always overweight as a child so you are doomed to staying overweight as an adult because it's in your "genes". The story that you were physically, sexually or mentally abused therefore you are damaged and not worthy of happiness. The story of being an addict majority of your life; relapsing more than you can count thus being destined to this heavy weight of addiction for the rest of your life. What is your story? Your truth?
To find some areas of your life that are stemming from this ego based story, find something that you absolutely can't stand with someone else. What is something you constantly find yourself judging others on? Is it their weight? What job they have? How they live their life? Whenever you are in a place of feeling so negatively towards another person, this is the open doorway for you to explore that part of you that you are not able to be honest about.
To nurture greatness, to build your true authentic power you have to go those dark and quiet places. Instead of scrolling through your phone or watching TV, sit still. Find a focus point in the room or close your eyes. You don't have to meditate but you do have to sit quietly enough until you hear the universe, God, whatever you want to call it. Most likely you will begin to hear your own inner chatter.
It's quite loud when you have nothing else to distract you from it. Our minds can be one of the scariest places to sit in. Sit with the discomfort, accept it and let it go. Examine each thought with patience and non judgement. Is it a truth? Or is it ego based fear? You will be able to tell when the chatter is not your authentic truth because it will be from a place of hurt and fear. The thoughts of the true authentic you are loving, merciful and non judgmental.
Take a deep breath in: peace
Deep breath out: gratitude
If you aren't protecting your heart and mind you will spend your whole life at war with yourself and your thoughts. Once you sit in silence long enough to hear your hearts' deepest desires, make a decision. What do you want out of this life? Everything that happens in your life is based on one thing: making a decision.
Are you making the decision to finally stop using food or alcohol as your drug? Are you making the decision not to follow in the footsteps of your parents and be fully present with your own children? Are you making the decision that you are finally going to run that marathon that you've talked about doing for years?
Showing up as your true authentic self means being connected to yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your life is like a pie chart, divided up into sections: relationships, physical health, emotional health, finances, work etc. When one part is off, it will affect all the other aspects as a whole. What is it that you are serving? Your ego or your true authentic self? You must commit to understand how all aspects of your life are connected.
Let's apply this to a real world example:
When you eat fast food, it affects your energy levels and your self esteem. You feel miserable afterwards so you snap at your loved ones because you feel bad about yourself. You have a bad mood at work all day and it affects your ability to perform at your very best. You come home and drink a glass of wine to try and forget about your bad day. You turn to Netflix to forget about your problems and somehow manage to down the whole bottle of wine. You get terrible sleep that night, wake up hungover and the vicious cycle starts all over again.
This is a new year. A year you have never experienced before. If you are sitting here reading this, it means that you have survived every single moment up to right now. What will you make of your precious time left on this earth? Will you continue to be a victim to your past circumstances? Or will you face your own BS and live up to the bad ass you were meant to be? You are strong beyond your own understanding. God knows it, do you? Make this year different. Put one foot in front of the other. You don't have to have it all figured out yet. But you do have to decide that you will do something different. Commit to yourself. You are all you've got. Who are you going to be? Every moment that passes is a chance to turn your life around. When you make the commitment and speak it out loud, everything conspires in your favor.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth...that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” - William Hutchison Murray