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Have you ever noticed that you don't like who you are? Whether it's the way you look, or act; you simply don't like yourself. If that is you, we have got some ways to help you!

First, let's look at the core of where this is all coming from. It starts with your self esteem. Self esteem is how we value or perceive ourselves. It is based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves and can feel very difficult to change. Self esteem have a critical impact on many areas of your life.

Self esteem can impact the following:

  • How you like and value yourself as a person

  • How you are able to make decisions and assert yourself

  • Your ability to recognize your strengths and positives

  • Your ability to try new or difficult things

  • Your ability to show kindness towards yourself

  • You ability to move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly

  • Taking the time you need for yourself

  • Believing you matter and are good enough

  • Believing you deserve happiness.

Regardless of the reasons why you may have poor self esteem, let's turn our focus forward and work on how to improve it from here. One way to shift your self esteem is by using the FAST acronym that is used in DBT therapy (dialectical behavior therapy).

F- fair

A- apologies

S- stick to your values

T- truth

Let's go deeper into what each concept means.


Be fair to yourself as well as other people. It is important to learnt hat your needs are just as important as someone else's. Be assertive and learn to speak your truth while also keeping in mind the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated.


Do not make unnecessary apologies. Do not apologize for having an opinion or disagreeing with others. Apologizing implies guilt and doing it when it is not warranted still puts that guilt on you that isn't necessary.

Stick to your values.

First take the time to sit with yourself and understand what your values are and then do not compromise or abandon those values at the expense of trying to please others.


Tell the truth. Be honest. Avoid over-exaggerating, lies and excuses. This includes holding yourself accountable for your actions but also knowing when someone else’s actions need to be differentiated from your own during conflict. By recognizing our accountability we are able to understand our role in a situation more authentically. This can help to decrease anxiety as we reflect on our actions and it helps us to recognize parts of ourselves which can aim to improve on.


Self care plays a critical role in self esteem by you taking the time to show you are worthy of caring for yourself. There are four realms to self care: Physical, emotional, spiritual and social. Here are some ways to improve your self care.

Physical Self Care

  • Do some stretching exercises.

  • Take a walk.

  • Drink more water.

  • Get a massage.

  • Go out and spend 10 minutes under the sun.

  • Go for a bike ride to nowhere in particular.

  • Go hiking, camping, or backpacking and spend some time in nature.

  • Go to bed early

Emotional Self Care

  • Learn to say “no.”

  • Intentionally schedule “me time” on your calendar or planner.

  • Reward yourself for completing small tasks.

  • Use online tutorials to learn something new. Youtube is free!

  • Develop a relaxing evening ritual.

  • Allow yourself to feel and express all of your feelings (in a safe and appropriate environment).

  • Try some mindful exercises to help bring you into the present moment.

  • Try adult coloring as a form of anxiety and/or stress release.

  • Have a gratitude journal and routine.

  • Take a moment to allow your feelings to be present without judging them.

  • Stop being your harshest critic. Allow yourself to make mistakes.

Spiritual Self Care

  • Make time for meditation in your day.

  • Do a body scan to check in with each part of your body.

  • Do something nice for someone in secret.

  • Donate money to a charity of your choosing.

  • Help someone in some way.

  • Find an opportunity to use your strengths, the things that energize you, more often.

Social Self Care

  • Avoid toxic people.

  • Ask for help. Let people know you need some help.

  • Call a trusted friend or family member and talk things out.

  • Choose who you spend your time with today. Spend time with people who are enthusiastic and positive.

  • Intentionally reconnect with someone you’ve lost touch with or have unresolved conflict with.

  • Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through.

  • Schedule a regular date night with your significant other.

  • Take a road trip with your siblings or friends.

If you are struggling with your self esteem and are tired of doing this on your own, we have a team of coaches ready to help you! Click here to schedule your free call to see how we can help you. You do not have to do this alone!

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